Three of Wands
by The.Dragon.Singer
Summary: "We've always known where to draw the line – we might have put a toe across it occasionally – but we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem – and now, with Dumbledore gone – we reckon a bit of mayhem – is exactly what our dear new Head deserves."


**TASK: **CHASER 2: Three of Wands — Upright: Looking Ahead, Expansion, Rapid Growth, Reversed: Obstacles, Delays, Frustration

**PROMPTS: **

**(song) Boomerang - Royal Republic [specifically "**_**No matter what you do, I'm gonna get you in the end"**_**] **

**(character) Minerva McGonagall**

**(quote) "That is such a bizarre request I have to agree to it." - The Princess Bride**

**Word Count (Microsoft Word): 1728**

* * *

"_So!" said Umbridge triumphantly, looking down on the Weasley Twins like a cat who caught the canary. "So… you think it amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, do you?"_

"_Pretty amusing, yeah," Fred replied without the slightest hint of fear. Filch elbowed his way through the crowd of onlookers, a mix of faculty and students._

"_I've got the form, Headmistress," he cried hoarsely, waving the sheaf of parchment in the air. "I've got the form, and I've got the whips waiting. Oh, let me do it now!"_

"_Very good, Argus," Umbridge preened, "You two are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."_

"_You know what?" Fred announced, "I don't think we are." He turned to look at his twin. "George, I think we've outgrown full-time education."_

"_Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself," George replied airily. _

"_Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?" Fred asked, twirling his wand. _

"_Definitely," said George, adjusting his grip on his own wand. _

_And before Umbridge could say a word, they raised their wands and said together, "_Accio Brooms_!"_

* * *

Minerva McGonagall wished she could have seen this coming. The pair of identical ginger teens lounging in the two chairs across from her desk looked utterly unapologetic. Miss Granger had come scurrying into her office about an hour ago, nattering about how the Weasley Twins had shoved Graham Montague into a Vanishing Cabinet. She'd had to track the pair down, and now she was wordlessly staring at the pair over the tops of her glasses, processing what they'd just said.

"We've decided we don't care about getting into trouble anymore. Never been expelled, have we?" The twins had fired off these statements like they always did, first one boy and then the other, back and forth. "We've always known where to draw the line – we might have put a toe across it occasionally – but we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem – and now, with Dumbledore gone – we reckon a bit of mayhem – is exactly what our _dear_ new Head deserves."

Fred had leaned forward at this point. "We don't really care about staying anymore. We'd walk out right now if we weren't determined to do our bit for Dumbledore first. So anyway, phase one should be starting any minute now, McG. We'd like to take full credit for it, and we'd like permission to cause as much mayhem as possible. We'll do it anyway, of course, but knowing you approve makes it much better."

The Head of Gryffindor House pursed her lips and peered at the two of them. George was the one to fidget first, he always was.

"And actually, Professor," he spoke up nervously glancing at his brother. "If there was a way that we could graduate early… For Mum, you know. A bloody terrifying woman sometimes."

The trio of Gryffindors stared at each other for several long minutes, and then finally McGonagall sighed.

"It's such a bizarre request," She sighed. "I have to agree to it."

Huge grins stretched across the faces of the Weasley Twins.

"It isn't going to be easy mind you," McGonagall warned. "You both will have to self-teach yourselves a significant amount of coursework in a short amount of time; the Easter holidays is the soonest I can schedule exams. Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, and Herbology NEWTS are all incredibly difficult classes. Speak with Professors Sprout and Flitwick about giving you both extra assignments. If you can manage to complete all these extra assignments we give you, I imagine looking the opposite direction of any chaos you two conjure up-"

_BOOM_

The bookshelves and trinkets shook, and the windows rattled. The Weasley Twins shared a look, agreed very swiftly to everything the Transfiguration Professor had been saying and raced out the door with matching mega-watt grins.

McGonagall followed the pair at a brisk walk. The sounds of people running and shrieks echoed through the corridors. Pandemonium reigned in the large first-floor corridor.

Somebody – the twins obviously – had set off what seemed to be an enormous crate of enchanted fireworks. Dragons composed entirely of green-and-gold sparks were soaring up and down the halls, emitting loud, fiery blasts and bangs as they went. Shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter were whizzing lethally through the air like so many flying saucers. Rockets with long tails of brilliant silver stars were ricocheting off the walls. Sparklers were writing swearwords in midair of their own accord. Firecrackers were exploding like mines everywhere, and instead of burning themselves out, fading from sight, or fizzling to halt, these pyrotechnical miracles seemed to be gaining energy and momentum the longer one watched.

Filch and Umbridge were standing, transfixed with horror, halfway down the stairs to the second floor. McGonagall smirked at the expressions on their faces. McGonagall's wand twitched in her hand, and if one of the larger Catherine wheels seemed to decide that what it need was more room to maneuver, and whirled toward the pink monstrosity and her sidekick with a sinister _wheeeeeeeee, _it certainly couldn't have been the straight-laced Professor who was striding away from the scene.

"Hurry, Filch, hurry!" shrieked Umbridge. "They'll be all over the school unless we do something – _Stupefy!_"

McGonagall glanced back just before she turned around the corner, and pursed her lips to hold back a laugh as the red jet of light that shot out of Umbridge's wand exploded one of the rockets instead of freezing it.

The fireworks continued to burn and spread all over the school that afternoon. Though they caused plenty of disruption, particularly the firecrackers, none of the other professors seemed to mind.

"Dear, dear," Professor McGonagall said sardonically, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhaling flame. "Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"

Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as Headmistress running all over the school answering summons from the other professors, not one of whom seemed to able to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. Professor Snape, of all people, had managed to figure out that Vanishing Spells only multiplied the problem by ten, and when Umbridge had appeared to his summons, panting and red-faced with both frustration and exertion, his classroom was filled with a sparkling mix of the words '_MINGE_' and _'SLAG' _and _'BITCH'. _Flitwick took great pleasure in closing the door in her face after saying, "Thank you so much, Professor! I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether I had the _authority_…"

The fireworks seemed to mutate when they hit another of a different kind; a Catherine wheel and a rocket, for example, create a fantastic flock of flying pigs sometime after midnight. The pyrotechnics, fortunately, fizzled out several days later, much to the frustration of Umbridge.

True to her word, McGonagall sent the Weasley boys a package of extra assignments to complete before the swiftly approaching Easter Break, and as a result, the mayhem dwindled to a few stray fireworks and the usual dungbomb pranks. Fred and George Weasley were both brilliant young men, but both were anxious to leave the school and to have some sort of cushion between their decision and their mother, they needed to graduate. Thus, the twins were found hunched over a rather tall stack of parchment and books, scribbling hastily and whispering back and forth late into the night and whenever they had a free moment. The actively sought out their three decent professors, and frequently vanished into the Room of Requirement.

Their Easter holiday was spent squirreled away in Dumbledore's office with the lovely old Madam Marchbanks, an examiner from the Ministry who was terribly fond of Minerva McGonagall.

When Ginny approached the pair slightly after the Easter break inquiring after a way to break into Umbridge's office and use the floo, the Twins had shared a look that spoke an entire conversation between them and had risen to their feet.

"Ginny's had a word with us about you," Fred had said to Harry, stretching out his legs under the Golden Trio's pamphlet filled table. "She says you need to talk to Sirius?"

"Well, we think we can find a way around that," George had said, following Hermione's declaration about the groping in the fires and frisking owls. "It's a simple matter of causing a diversion. Now, you might have noticed that we have been rather quiet on the mayhem front during the Easter holidays?"

"What was the point, we asked ourselves, of disrupting leisure time?" Fred had continued. "No point at all, we answered ourselves. And of course, we'd have messed up people's studying too, which would be the very last thing we'd want to do. But it's business as usual from tomorrow, and if we're going to be causing a bit of an uproar, why no do it so that Harry can have a chat with Sirius?"

They guaranteed the kid twenty minutes, and left to start the set up of the most marvelous moment of mayhem Hogwarts had ever seen.

* * *

"_We won't be seeing you," Fred told Professor Umbridge, swinging his leg over his broomstick._

"_Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch," said George, mounting his own. _

_Fred turned to the assembled students, all silent and watchful. "If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley – Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes," He said in a loud voice, "Our new premises!"_

"_Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat!" added George, pointing to the pink-robed Professor. _

"_STOP THEM!" shrieked Umbridge, but it was too late. As the Inquisitorial Squad closed in, Fred and George kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air. Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd. _

"_Give her hell from us, Peeves."_

_And Peeves, who no one had ever seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang into a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset._


End file.
